Everyone has been through a breakup, whether it was serious or not usually depends on what day of the week it is, for some.
If it was serious, it sucks. It’s hard to go back to being a single person when you’ve been accustomed to being 1/2 of a team. Since breaking up is usually a process, here are some things you should never say to your friend who has recently joined the single line.
- You two looked so nice together.
Yeah, cause that is important as f- isn’t it? Who cares how they looked? Anyone can smile for the camera and front for Facebook. Some people are professionals at that.
- He is such a nice guy.
Seriously, not today. Not only are looks deceiving but I’m sure Jesus thought something similar about Judas. The fact is people aren’t who you think they are, they aren’t who they post to be and they sure aren’t what they look like. You never know what can be going on in relationships or marriages so try not to use phrases like this to stir up any anger in your friend. It’s not worth it, trust me
I know you must have waited for them to hit their breaking point and demand what you thought they deserved for a while but DAMN. Could you be a little kinder? Breaking up is usually very hard, especially if you’ve dedicated years to making it work. It’s usually the last straw and something you don’t want to do but you’re there. It’s hard for anyone. No one will be happy, regardless of how long you may have thought it was coming.
- You can get a little heated, is this the end?
There is nothing like making a decision and someone unintentionally questioning your decision. If someone is this far gone, there’s a chance it’s not them being heated. Relationships are a lot and it’s hard for people to walk away from persons they love, it’s even harder to be questioned about your decisions as if you didn’t go over this a thousand times in your head. Respect limitations. People know how much they can take and something more than likely pushed them overboard.
- He/She is Such An Ass
What’s new? They know this, although you have probably known this for a while. But they were in love, they dated them and it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. If things were different they’d be with their ass and still loving them. But things aren’t different and they’re probably going through hell without you unintentionally making it worse.
Here are some kind, positive things you can say instead:
“I’m sorry – I know you probably have friends to discuss with this but I’m here if you ever need an ear.”
“Do you want to sit, eat ice cream and talk about it?”
“You will love again, you will feel again but take the necessary time to heal. We’ll get through this.”
“I love you.”
Breakups are just as hard as losing a pet or a friend; you can’t skip the pain and the emotion but you can be a better friend to people around you going through it.
Reminding people that you care for them can also be a great way to remind them that they’re not going through this alone, even if they feel like that. The hardest thing would be is to remind them of the memories they’re trying to let go. Try not to question their decisions or go back to moments where you were convinced this was going to be it – just be there.
Treat them as you’d want to be treated.