“If you want to show her your love, put a ring on her finger.”
To everyone that has personally wanted to put someone’s head in a blender every time they’re asked the dreadful question of when they are getting married, you are not alone.
As a 20-something woman, I do not enjoy the way society forces marriage upon me. Yes, as a little girl I played Mash or any other love game that told me who I was supposed to marry. But as an adult with bills and a career to handle, I do not care that you have the perfect husband for me or that you want to eat wedding cake, my wedding finger is really none of your damn concern.
Before you ask anyone when their wedding is, ask them how they are doing financially. Ask them if they’re making their rent on time or if they’re living paycheck to paycheck. Ask them if their partner can handle marriage or even if they’re in a healthy relationship. These are the things you should care about – these are the things that matter.
Statistics show that marriage rates among young adults are on a steady decline and it is a long-term trend. Has anyone ever asked why? Could it be that the cost of living is now so much higher than when our parents were adults? If we can’t afford a house to live in when the wedding is finished, then what’s the point? You may have fallen for the being broke and eating Ramen noodles bullshit, but we are not. It is absolutely absurd to pressure someone into something when you have no clue whether they’re ready for it or not!
There are also some persons firmly against the sacrament of marriage. Some people, men and women included prefer to explore the options available to them without being attached to anyone. With divorce rates at the highest for people in their 20s, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to convince people that marriage is the endpoint for a relationship. Monogamy is simply not common but because it’s a societal trend, we fall in line. What if I were to tell you that I rather travel the world and have great sex in every country I visit than to be tied down, literally and figuratively? You would probably suggest I’m mad for wanting to use my vagina to make me happy.
Maybe it’s just me, perhaps no one else is bothered by the constant questions regarding a wedding date. But I’ve never been taught to strive to get married, I’ve been taught to establish myself in my industry, build my fortune, then worry about getting married. It’s as if society places marriages before education or even stability and there’s a ticking deadline that we must abide by before we all wither away in the wind.
Don’t ask me when I’m getting married, don’t tell him if he loves me put a ring on my finger – in fact unless you’re sending us love, don’t tell us anything regarding a future. It’s absolutely none of your business, unless of course you’re looking to fund a wedding – then it is your business.