Come on. Don’t read my headline and roll your eyes! I’m just stating what most women are too ashamed to say. But truth be told, many of us have been the ‘side chick’ be it voluntary or involuntary. We’ve all fallen in love with a man or woman who was never ours to begin with. So, where did we go wrong? We gave awesome quickie sex in the back seat of his 2012 Honda Accord, we’ve cooked him a wicked seafood pasta and he’s met mom and dad.
Where did we go wrong?? I thought about it and after constant debate with my male counterparts, I’ve devised four absolute don’ts to being a side chick!
1. Never assume
OK! I understand he carried you out everywhere, held your hand, kissed you in public, presses you up hard against that club wall while you grind hard on his body. He made you feel alive and wanted, the way you could talk to him for hours just seemed like the fairy tale you once read has finally come to life…PAUSE! You my dear lady are forgetting one thing, HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND and until he tells you that you are the only woman for him NEVER ASSUME THAT YOU ARE! He may treat you like the main girl by flossing you in public but when it all boils down to it he’ll remind you that you two were never an item.
2. His family is not your family
One common mistake most side chicks make is getting cozy with the family. Please, please don’t do it! No matter how much they refer to you as ‘sister in law, niece, future daughter’ in that same breath they will deny you like Peter denied Christ when shit hit the fan. In the end their only interest is get what they can get from you while you’re there. They’ll ask common favours such as babysitting, helping to set up a party, or lending them a few bucks. These actions will get you to feel natural around them and give you a chip on your shoulder as if you were the main girl. However, when things go south they won’t hesitate to remind you that you’ll never compare to the main girl. His family pretending to like you won’t make him leave his main girl any quicker, remember that.
3. Never make ‘your’ goals, ‘our’ goals.
It’s a common practice to want to include your man in all your decisions that’s understandable, you want him to feel wanted and needed. However, when you are a side chick these rules do not apply. Your goals are yours and yours alone. So don’t ask his opinion on shit unless he officially leaves his main for you. Keep your private life separate and apart from the little fling you are attempting to make last forever. If you wish to further your education or career, just do it! It’ll make you a better person and who knows perhaps it will knock some sense into your head to realize that the man you have been tripping over isn’t worth shit!
4. Never fall in love
I know, I know, it’s much easier said than done. But in the end it’ll be all worth it! Learn to separate the awesome way he makes your body feel from the way he makes you feel. A lot of women tend to make that mistake and it always ends up with you hating that man for life.
If a side chick is your calling, live by the rules, love it and learn it.