When I was younger, I encouraged the habits of my friends. Whether they were wrong or not.
This isn’t right, but I did it and I’m sure many women can relate to this. This isn’t exactly a cardinal sin, but it’s tasteless and doesn’t encourage our friends to do better.
I can recall times my girlfriends had cheated on their boyfriends, got caught and I comforted them. I called the man names I don’t care to share. I stood by my friend because to me this was what friendship was about.
I was trying to be a good friend, trying to show them I knew how to stand by them, regardless of their actions. In my defense, I was young and following the actions of my peers.
Today, there are examples of girlfriends sticking together on television shows, reality shows and around us. It defines sisterhood or rather destroys it.
Sisterhood isn’t defined by the amount of times we’ve ignored the lesson in situations and refused to speak on it, only to comfort the perpetrators. Sisterhood should instead be defined by recognizing the lessons in the situation and assisting our friends with building from the mistakes made in the past. We shouldn’t stand by actions we would otherwise abhor.
What do you call a friend that encourages absurd behavior from her friend because she loves her? Wait on the answer, I don’t have it as yet. An enabler, perhaps?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not encouraging you to ditch your friends because you don’t agree with their choices. But it’s hypocritical to encourage actions from your friends you would normally detest. If you’re against cheating and breaking up happy homes, but your friend cheats with a man in a committed relationship and you’re okay with that, is it a blurred line for you? What if your boyfriend cheated on you and your friends knew and was okay with that, is the situation different for you? How does it differ and where do you draw the line? If you were okay with your friend destroying a relationship you should be okay when your friends are fine with your boyfriend cheating on you.
I do regret turning my head to a lot of situations. I could have helped my friends become better women if only I was a better friend. I could have become a better woman from learning from their situations. Instead I encouraged, laughed and even went along with the scheme of things. Because that’s what girls do, right? But are some women any better?
This is my apology to you. I wasn’t a catalyst for change in your life instead I was detrimental to your growth as a woman. Or maybe not. We tend to learn and grow through our mistakes. Our mistakes can either make us better women or women that shouldn’t be allowed to interact with others. In the end, I may have served a meaningful purpose in your life. If I haven’t, I apologize.